The life of my family is about to forever be changed. I seriously cannot believe that in less than one week our sweet baby Rose will be here. That our family will change from three to four. That Tony and I will have a daughter. That Simon will have a sister. That he'll be a big brother. That this life that has been safe and warm inside me will be in my arms.
It really does seem like just yesterday that I was holding a positive pregnancy test in my hand. I can still remember quite vividly the complete shock that washed over me when I saw the two pink lines. My shaking hands as I took a picture on my phone and sent it to Tony. The way I checked my phone all morning waiting for the doctor to call me back and then trying desperately to distract myself all weekend waiting for the blood test results. I remember seeing her wiggling form for the first time just a few days later on the ultrasound monitor. And now that tiny little form that I saw way back in June is nearly ready to enter the world.
The last week or so I've found myself dealing with the duality of very much wanted to meet my baby girl and also clinging to these last days of pregnancy and the last days I have with Simon as an only. It's so bittersweet at times. This is my last pregnancy. I know that I'll never again feel baby kicks dance across my abdomen. That I'll never again have the telltale rounded and firm belly of a pregnant woman. That I'll never again run my hand across my middle and know that something that's part me and part Tony is growing in there. I love pregnancy. I really do. Even when I'm huge and uncomfortable and can barely sleep because of it. I will miss it.
I will also miss the sweet moments I have with just Simon. Him "reading" to my belly/Baby Rose. His kisses on my belly. His sweet good nights. I'll miss being able to snuggle and play with him uninterrupted. Or chat with him about random things. Yes...I'll still be able to do those things but they won't be quite the same as they are now when he has my mostly undivided attention. His world is about to be rocked as much as mine is and I sincerely hope that I'm up to helping him make that transition.
Ultimately, I just find myself trying to cherish these last few days before we meet Rose face to face. Five more days and she'll be in our arms and lives.
Five more days...